In Part One of this article series I focused on the most important steps you need to take for yourself in the wake of a break-up. In this article I will now move on to the absolute killer tactic you need to practice as the next step in getting your lover back. Notice I said ‘tactic.’ This is not a trick and nor is it meant to be manipulative. Used correctly, however, it has seldom failed to win back an ex for someone who does it right.
There are certain basics to human psychology which are hard-wired into us from birth. One of the most important of these when it comes to getting a lover back is the rule that we want what we cannot have. If you think about it, it makes sense. If we were simply content with what we had all the time we would never feel ambition or make progress in our lives. But Mother Nature has also neatly used this as a trick to ensure that we humans mate, meet and replicate the species.
Think of it as the old hunter-gatherer routine. Man is hard-wired to hunt and the best hunters thrive. They get the best food, the best shelter and, yes, the best mate. Tap into that hunting instinct and you awaken an age-old impulse. But how do I do that, you cry? And what does it have to do with getting a lover back anyway? Simple. The thrill of the hunt is in the chase. You have to make your ex come running after you. You need to rekindle desire.
Yes, I know you’ve heard it before. Probably a thousand times. But read on because I’m going to tell you how you do it. Becoming an object of desire is an art. And the first stage is to become unavailable. Not in an obvious way. Just don’t be there. By there I mean at the end of the phone or by email. Don’t give in to that urge to get in touch for whatever reason you might tell yourself. Don’t ask your ex’s best friend how they’re doing. And certainly don’t be physically around.
Absence really does make the heart grow fonder but we’re going to take this a step further. When your ex does pick up their phone or send a text, be coolly friendly but distant. Sure, it would be nice to meet up. But maybe in a week or two. You’re busy right now. You need space. Crucially, sound calm and as if you might actually be enjoying yourself. Without them.
Now, don’t overplay this. Don’t laugh manically down the phone or make up tall tales of incredible stuff you’ve been up to. Above all, don’t play the jealousy card (yet) and mention some real or imagined rival to their affections. Simply be yourself but your happy, single self. A person who can not only cope without their ex but might actually be better off for the break-up.
Until the next time – remember to look after and love yourself!