Simply thinking about getting back with an ex will not solve anything. You need to plan exactly what you are going to say and do and, even more importantly, what you are NOT going to say or do. It is absolutely vital that you do not let your ex know how much you want them back. The old advice about playing it cool holds now more than ever. If you are to really save your relationship you need to think longterm. It might hurt in the short term but you absolutely must do your best to stay away from your ex love. Trust me, out of sight is most definitely not out of mind!

You need to remain elusive and yet in control. You have to seem unattainable. Yes, I know this is supposed to be an article about you getting back with your ex. Follow this advice and you will be well on your way to rescuing your relationship. For the next, crucial step in getting your ex back then I urge you to read more HERE.

Read on, however, and you will discover a couple of excellent ways to get your lover back for Christmas. Follow them to the letter and you too could be pulling those Christmas crackers together this year!

The first thing to do is get on out there and start enjoying yourself. Yes, I know that sounds really hard when you feel so bad inside but it is vital you are seen to be having a wonderful time. Note those words: ‘are seen.’ You need to hang out in the usual places. You have to make sure that your ex either sees or gets to hear about you looking fabulous and, most importantly, ENJOYING YOURSELF.

At the very least they’ll start to wonder. How come you’re doing so well? Maybe you’re not so cut up by the break-up? Perhaps, God forbid, you’re even over it?! Let them wonder. You need to get on with stage two. And what’s that? Being generous. No, not with your wallet or purse. You absolutely must not rush out and buy them that great gift you just know they would love.

Getting your ex back for Christmas involves self-control and perhaps just a little bit of acting. So not only must you appear happy and at peace with the situation, you must also seem to welcome it. This means telling your ex or their friends that you are glad this has happened. Now, be careful here. You don’t want to overdo this. Say something along the lines of this being the best thing for both of you and that you are looking forward to focusing on your family and friends this Christmas.

Now, by referring to your friends you are subtly indicating that you are out there for a good time. And as we all know, good times at Christmas often mean romance. Your ex lover will read this as maximum danger signal. They might not be sure they want you back (yet) but what they do know is that they certainly don’t want you to spend Christmas with someone else, especially if they are going to be on their own.

To read more about how to get your lover back for Christmas CLICK HERE.

There are certain basics to human psychology which are hard-wired into us from birth. One of the most important of these when it comes to getting a lover back is the rule that we want what we cannot have. If you think about it, it makes sense. If we were simply content with what we had all the time we would never feel ambition or make progress in our lives. But Mother Nature has also neatly used this as a trick to ensure that we humans mate, meet and replicate the species.

Think of it as the old hunter-gatherer routine. Man is hard-wired to hunt and the best hunters thrive. They get the best food, the best shelter and, yes, the best mate. Tap into that hunting instinct and you awaken an age-old impulse. But how do I do that, you cry? And what does it have to do with getting a lover back anyway? Simple. The thrill of the hunt is in the chase. You have to make your ex come running after you. You need to rekindle desire.

Yes, I know you’ve heard it before. Probably a thousand times. But read on because I’m going to tell you how you do it. Becoming an object of desire is an art. And the first stage is to become unavailable. Not in an obvious way. Just don’t be there. By there I mean at the end of the phone or by email. Don’t give in to that urge to get in touch for whatever reason you might tell yourself. Don’t ask your ex’s best friend how they’re doing. And certainly don’t be physically around.

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder but we’re going to take this a step further. When your ex does pick up their phone or send a text, be coolly friendly but distant. Sure, it would be nice to meet up. But maybe in a week or two. You’re busy right now. You need space. Crucially, sound calm and as if you might actually be enjoying yourself. Without them.

Now, don’t overplay this. Don’t laugh manically down the phone or make up tall tales of incredible stuff you’ve been up to. Above all, don’t play the jealousy card (yet) and mention some real or imagined rival to their affections. Simply be yourself but your happy, single self. A person who can not only cope without their ex but might actually be better off for the break-up.

Until the next time – remember to look after and love yourself!

That’s right. Nothing. Don’t pick up the phone or go see them. Sit on your hands if you have to but emails and texts are also OUT. This is the situation at its most critical and it is vital you get it right from the outset. The absolute worst thing you can do is start professing your undying devotion or begging your lover to take you back. If you’d like to find out just why that is SO crucial, CLICK HERE

This leads me neatly on to step number two which is to put yourself first. When a break-up happens it’s only natural to focus entirely on your ex-lover. You think about them, obsess about them. You wonder what they are doing. When all of that emotional energy could be better spent looking after yourself.

Believe me when I tell you that it is extremely important you take care of your own needs now. The pain can even be physical. I know I’ve felt it – an empty ache in my chest. If some other part of you was hurting that bad you’d take care of it, wouldn’t you? This is just the same as any other wound. You need to tend it with love.

Not love for your ex but love for yourself right now. And the absolute best way to love yourself is to put yourself first. Ask yourself how you really feel about the break up. Are you confused? Hurt? Angry? You want to get your lover back so I’m assuming you still care about them but it’s not their feelings that count the most.

In Part Two of this article I’m going to move you on to the next stage of how to get a lover back. For now, I’d like you to acknowledge your feelings. Maybe even write them down. Whatever you do, don’t share them with your ex-lover. If you write them down, do not even think of sending them as a letter. Just keep them for yourself. I’ll tell you why in Part Two and I’ll also share with you the absolute, killer technique that has never failed to get a lover back. For more great advice in the meantime, CLICK HERE.

The thing is, we really do tend to get what we project. And if what you are transmitting is total misery how on earth do you expect to bring love back into your life? Please don’t dismiss this as some kind of New Age quackery – this rule holds true for all our emotional interactions. If you want to bring love back into your life you need to be bursting with the stuff. But how to do that when you feel like all the love disappeared along with your ex?

Easy. There are all kinds of love and the most important one for you right now is love for yourself. That’s right – you need to love yourself even more than you love your ex and you need to love life most of all. Project that kind of energy and you’ll get a lover back quicker than you can snap your fingers. Positive people are irresistible and someone who simply bursts with optimism and love for life is the most magnetic kind of person of all.

Yeah, right, I hear you sigh. How do you expect me to burst with love and joy when I can’t imagine ever feeling that way again? Again, easy – all we need to do is reframe your thinking. This little-known technique works wonders and will make you feel instantly better about yourself and about life. Try it for yourself – you’ll be amazed at the results.

I want you to think of something you’re just about certain you’ll be doing 30 days from now. Maybe it’s slaving away at your desk. Could be some social function you already have in your diary. Whatever it is, think about it. Really picture it. Now take note of where you picture it. Do you see it above you? Straight ahead? Up and to the right or left? Or maybe down?

Wherever it may be, that’s the place on your personal time line that represents for you the near future.

Next I want you to think of something you’re pretty certain you’ll be doing a year from now. Don’t over-complicate it. Think of something that happens regularly once a year. It could be Christmas. Your birthday. Your dental check-up. Whatever.

Just think about it, and again note where you position the image. That position represents the more distant future for you. Repeat the exercise 2 years into the future, and for as far ahead as you wish. When you are done, draw an imaginary line in your mind connecting these points. This is your complete future time line.

Now for the fun part. I want you to think of a time in your life when you were unbelievably happy, when you were just about the happiest you have ever been. When you truly loved life and felt totally yourself.
When you’ve got that image really clear and strong in your mind (and make it as big and colorful as you like – really feel it), pull that joyful picture of you on to the 30 day point on your time line. Do this over and over until when you simply imagine that 30 day future point the joyful image automatically appears.

Repeat this for all the other future points you have already pictured, doing it until that picture of you at your happiest just shows up automatically.

So what have you just done? You projected happiness and optimism into your future. You’ve literally imprinted on your mind and emotions a new reality: that your future is full of joy. That in your future you will not only be in love with life you will also be totally at ease with and loving yourself.

Your mind is like a computer – it accepts whatever you feed it. Having reprogrammed your picture of yourself in your future makes it far easier to radiate love and optimism. By doing both those things you are much, much more likely to not only get your lover back but create a far better future.

For more killer tips on how to get your lover back CLICK HERE

To find out more about getting your lover back CLICK HERE

So while you may be obsessing with the all important question, “how can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?”, what you need to be focusing on is rectifying the causes of failure. By doing so you will be  able to eliminate the tension and stress which brought the split on in the first place.

So, how can I get back together with my ex boyfriend, you ask?

When a relationship fails, you need to take that as an indication that something went wrong. If your boyfriend left you, then it was likely for one of two reasons: Either the relationship was becoming stale because there was not enough of you in it, or the relationship was getting too claustrophobic because there was too much of you in it. Either way, one of these causes is going to lead to relationship suicide. If you are asking “How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend”, then you need to start looking at which of these led to the break up so you can act accordingly.

Whatever the issue is that chiefly contributed to the split, it was probably either something that you did, or something that you didn’t do. It may be harsh to look at things this way, but that is simply how it usually works. The person who was broken up with either did, or did not do something and the person doing the splitting simply felt driven away. So now what happens, and how can you manage to get him to come back? The first step is to change whatever it was that drove him away in the first place.

You need to sit down and really take a hard look at your situation. What could have led to the breakup? Which of these things were your fault, and which were not your fault?

Rule out the ones that were out of your control, since they continue to be out of your control, and focus on the things that you did do wrong, the ones that you can in fact change. If your biggest problem is something that you were responsible for and that you could change, then there is a very good chance that you can still get back together with him. However, you must be certain you really are willing to make the necessary changes to appeal to him again.

Just knowing how to get back together with your ex boyfriend is not enough. It won’t happen unless you are willing to take action.  Now!